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Do you ever worry that you’re bad in bed? It’s a common concern and it turns out, it may be justified, as a survey from sex education site Beducated finds that 60% of people aren’t happy with their sex life. No one wants to be one of them or wonder if their partner is, but how do you know?
Sex and relationship therapist Miranda Christophers has some ideas as a lot of her patients are afraid they’re not satisfying superstars when it comes to sex. “It’s crushing,” she explains. “It also leads to performance anxiety, which is counterproductive.”
These are the most common obstacles to great sex, according to Christophers, which could be a sign your sex life isn’t as good as it could be.
- You can only do it with the lights off - This could be from a lack of body confidence or not feeling free to be open, but doing it in the dark or under the covers can also help you focus on what feels good.
- You’re distracted mid-passion - If you suddenly remember you need to throw the laundry in the dryer while you’re in the middle of the moment, you’re not giving it your full attention or staying connected and that can keep you - and your partner - from enjoying it.
- You never talk about sex - Some people are too embarrassed to discuss their sex life with their partner, but not checking in about what you each like and want may leave you both less than satisfied.
- You stick to your tried and trusted technique - What works for one person may not excite another, so just because your ex liked your special move doesn’t mean your current lover will.
- Your partner is rarely in the mood - Desire levels vary all the time for all kinds of different reasons, but it can be confidence-crushing if you’re the one always pursuing them for sex. Try not to see it as rejection and talk to them to find what works for you both.
- You’re terrified if you don’t “perform” - Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for everyone involved, which is easier when you focus on what you’re experiencing and get out of your head.
Read the article at Daily Mail