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Does the idea of talking dirty intimidate you? Some folks shy away from it, knowing there’s a very fine line between good dirty talk and the cringe kind that kills the mood. But by skipping it, we could be missing out, according to clinical sexologist Ness Cooper. She explains, “Research shows that when we talk dirty to a partner, it increases how we bond and connect with each other.”
Cooper also used to write naughty scripts for sex workers, so she’s really an expert on the subject. And these are her do’s and don’ts of dirty talk, so you can do it confidently.
- If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again - It may feel embarrassing to you, but even if your first attempt at sexy talk doesn’t go well, try to laugh it off and give it another shot. And don’t forget, the point is to have fun, the world won’t end if you make mistakes.
- Don’t be generic - Instead of saying general things like, “I’m ready for you,” Cooper encourages being specific about your motivation. “What do you want? What do you feel? The emotions - that’s what makes dirty talk a winner,” she explains.
- Take it slow - Just like other things in the bedroom, there’s no need to rush and it’s actually better if you don’t. “You don’t focus on the finale at the beginning,” the sexpert says. “You work in a bit of foreplay because that’s what it’s all about.”
- Don’t shy away from emojis - If you’re sexting, Cooper says, “Emojis can be sexy.” She says they add a social connection that “helps you visualize,” so let them help you talk dirty in texts.
- Use memories - When you’re stuck for inspiration, try using things you’ve done before with the person you’re talking dirty to. “Go into a bit of detail. How did it make you feel? Go on from there and build on it a bit,” advises Cooper.
- Give them time to process your fantasies - If something doesn’t click right away, don’t rush your partner. Give them a chance to understand and process what you’re describing in dirty talk.
- Don’t stress if you lose your “dirty talk mojo” - It can happen to couples who have been together for a while, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone forever. In fact, Cooper says familiarity can take it to the next level. She explains, “When you start to learn who you are and who your partner is as a unique individual a bit more, you can then develop hotter dirty talk that’s more unique.”
Read the full story at Metro