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When we see people do it on screen, they make it look so easy, but have you tried talking dirty in real life? It can feel really awkward. Our brains start spinning, wondering what if he cracks up and laughs, or if it’s worth trying at all.
To help us get over our embarrassment and fear of sounding silly, sex experts share their best advice for talking dirty.
- Don’t be too serious - Sex educator Cassie Fuller recommends keeping it fun and light. She says when you’re new to it, you’ll have goofy moments and giggles and advises not getting too hung up on what dirty talk is supposed to sound like. Just make sure you’re both enjoying it and that you’re laughing with each other, not at each other.
- Say what you’re feeling - As for what to say, sexy lifestyle expert Dana B. Myers says it’s good to start with what you’re experiencing at that very moment. It can be as simple as “I’m feeling so turned on right now!”
- Say what you want him to do - Get as specific as you want with this one.
- Tell him what you want him to keep doing - Positive reinforcement goes a long way, so let him know what he’s doing that’s rocking your world.
- Describe what you’re about to do - If you feel awkward about naming specific body parts, Myers recommends leaning into suggestively vague phrases instead.
- Ask confident questions - Check in with your partner by asking things like, “Do you like the way I make you feel?” Questions about intensity and speed are also good, according to Fuller.
- Talk about the parts of your partner’s body you enjoy - If you love their strong arms or soft lips, tell them! It makes for spicy dirty talk and helps them feel desired as well.
- Find out if there are words or phrases you SHOULDN’T say - Fuller points out that some words that sound hot to you might make your partner uncomfortable, which is the last thing you want.
- Add in some dramatic pauses, sighs and deep breaths - There’s no need to rush things, in fact, pausing between words with a little heavy breathing in their ear will only add to the anticipation.
Read the article at Cafe Mom