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There’s nothing like being in the throes of passion with your partner and hearing the bedroom door squeak open, followed by a little voice saying, “Mommy?” Having your kid walk in on you having sex is something many of us have experienced, but that doesn’t make it any less awkward when it happens to you.
So what’s the right way to handle the situation? There are a few ways to make it a little less awkward for both you and your kids.
- Respond with humor - You can tell them something like, “You should consider yourself lucky that your parents still want to do that with each other. Of course, they won’t feel lucky at all, but it’s a pretty good response.
- Use it as a “teachable moment” - If your child tells you how “gross” or “embarrassing” it was to catch you in the act, address that in a simple and frank response. Say something along the lines of, “It’s not gross, it’s actually normal, and someday when you’re older, you’ll understand.” Instead of launching into some big sex talk, use simple phrases to acknowledge what happened and move on, like, “We were having sex, which is something grown ups do. We keep the door closed because it’s private, but we’re sorry if you heard us.” Or if your kiddos are too young for that and they’re just worried about what they heard, assure them you are okay, even if it sounded like you and your partner were hurting each other.
- Make it part of an ongoing dialogue - Let the situation open the door to further conversations by simply saying, “If you want to know more about sex, we can talk about it.” But clinical psychologist Dr. Emily Kline doesn’t recommend using the moment kids see something as the opportunity to teach them about sex. She explains, “Learning about sex is awkward enough without having to immediately picture your parents doing it!”
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