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How long has it been since you thought about your kissing skills? Maybe not since you were a teenager, but somatic sexologist and kissing coach Stella Anna Sonnerbaum suggests we could all use a refresh. She’s giving us a beginner’s guide, but she says anyone can benefit from the do’s and don’ts of kissing well.
- Don’t use your tongue on first contact - See if the other person is open to it first, Sonnerbaum recommends. “Go with the feeling,” she advises. “If it feels good, then do it,” as long as the other person is into it.
- Do play with position - Leaning in for a kiss when you’re already sitting beside each other is good because she says it means “the closeness is already established.” Standing opposite each other is also a classic first kiss position.
- Don’t get hung up on how much tongue is too much - While this expert says “sticking the tongue fast and straight in” is probably not a good idea, everyone’s idea of the right amount of tongue is different, so go with the flow and see what works.
- Do take a middle ground with your mouth - In other words, don’t try to swallow your partner’s mouth and “find a way that the lips themselves can kiss rather than putting your mouth around the other person’s mouth.”
- Don’t forget about the rest of the body - You may be focused on the tongue and looking into their eyes, but Sonnenbaum reminds us that touching the nape of their neck and their hair can be very romantic.
- Do pay attention to pressure - How much pressure feels good varies from person to person, so take cues from your partner while kissing.
- Do be “inventive with your tongue” - The kissing coach suggests using “your tongue to explore your partner’s mouth,” within their boundaries. She also advises paying attention to what feels good to you.
- And finally … Don’t use too much saliva - This should go without saying, but as a reminder, limit the saliva involved in your kissing and it’ll be a better experience for you and your partner.
Read the article at The Guardian