If anyone deserves to be called relationship experts, it’s doctors John and Julie Gottman. They’ve been married for 36 years and studying love and what it takes to make it last for five decades and now they’re sharing a common habit that may be ruining your sex life.
On a recent episode of “The Diary of A CEO” podcast hosted by entrepreneur Steven Bartlett, the couple was on to talk about how to improve performance in the bedroom and the interconnectedness of intimacy and sex. John references a study of 70-thousand people in 24 countries that looks into what’s different about people who say they have a great sex life and people who say they have an awful sex life, noting some key findings. He says there are about a dozen things that people who have a great sex life do, including saying “I love you” every day and meaning it, giving compliments and “having a lot of touch.”
It turns out, this physical touch and affection is more important than we may realize. According to Gottman, cuddling is key, as 96% of those in the study who have a terrible sex life don’t cuddle. That means just 4% of the non-cuddlers have a great sex life. He also points out the power of kissing and hugging for keeping couples connected, explaining that a 20-second hug or a six-second kiss releases oxytocin, which helps boost the feeling of connection and bonding.
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